The Man Who Would not be Fired
No, not me.
But, equally, no, I have not yet been fired.
I was considering my Imaginary predicament, in which I work for a theoretical Billionaire and his Chief Lieutenant.
And something struck me. Most of my favourite blogs are the ones that are work related. Odd, I know, me, with a work fixation?
Anyway, yes, the blogs I read most often, which I will list at some point tend to deal with people's working lives. The storytelling is usually pretty good and I love watching a scenario unfold through someone elses words.
That's probably why I read so much junk fiction in my ever diminishing spare time. But, really I'm chasing characters and situations and puzzling over the whys and wherefores of each one.
It occured to me, gradually, that maybe that is what I should be blogging about.
I do spend some considerable time in work.
I do have some extraordinary stories of madness that goes on.
I would then have something about which I could write.
I may never win Young Scientist, for various reasons, particularly at this stage, the blatant Age Discrimination inherent in the competition, but even I could figure out the potential here...
By the way, how do the Young Scientists get away with such blatant anti ageist propaganda? Where are the Mid Life Scientists, the Aging Scientists, the Semi Retired But Still Do a Bit of Science In The Garage (Don't Tell The Wife) Scientists?
And why don't they win prizes and get to be on the front of the Irish Times with their braces etc?
Anyway, the story that fascinates me at the moment is the one of The Man Who Would not be Fired.
The Imaginary company I work for has many different locations, the Man (as he shall be known), runs a small and not very profitable branch, in fact, his branch is losing money hand over fist.
He, on the other hand, is a large and somewhat noisy individual.
I dread seeing his name in my Inbox, because inevitably, he will have written an epic email, full of posturing, demanding to know why everyone else has made a mess of something and deploring the fact that only he had the foresight, wisdom etc to notice this terrible error.
99.9% of the time, he is in the wrong, he has misunderstood the original instruction and quite probably, caused the problem in the first place.
It became a grim game in the Management Meetings, to watch this guy dice with death as he increasingly annoyed and frustrated the Chief Lieutenant.
Eventually, patience diminshed and the Axman was sent out to sort him out.
By which I mean, fire him.
Which he did, apparently. Well over a month ago.
However The Man, continues to work away. Only today I had four or five emails, which I was cc'ed on. In which, he deplored some error that everyone else was making, which was of course in fact his misunderstanding.
I asked around. Everyone thinks he was fired. In fact he has told staff in his branch, on a couple of occasions that today / tomorrow / last week was his last day.
In fact, we've even sent an interim Manager to the branch. And the next Management Meeting is on this Friday. But still I get mails, with discussion of future plans, laying out deals he wants to do for 2008 and agonising over how we are messing everything up and how he couldn't stand over it.
The urge to shout at the top of my voice "Fuck off, you were fired" is unbearable.
I am resisting only because my curiosity is getting the better of me.
How long can a man who was fired keep working for? It's like one of those Action Movies in which the villian keeps popping up from the bath, or climbing out of the meat grinder, or magically reappearing under the bed of the hero...
The Man Who Would not be Fired. He's an inspiration in some ways...
But, equally, no, I have not yet been fired.
I was considering my Imaginary predicament, in which I work for a theoretical Billionaire and his Chief Lieutenant.
And something struck me. Most of my favourite blogs are the ones that are work related. Odd, I know, me, with a work fixation?
Anyway, yes, the blogs I read most often, which I will list at some point tend to deal with people's working lives. The storytelling is usually pretty good and I love watching a scenario unfold through someone elses words.
That's probably why I read so much junk fiction in my ever diminishing spare time. But, really I'm chasing characters and situations and puzzling over the whys and wherefores of each one.
It occured to me, gradually, that maybe that is what I should be blogging about.
I do spend some considerable time in work.
I do have some extraordinary stories of madness that goes on.
I would then have something about which I could write.
I may never win Young Scientist, for various reasons, particularly at this stage, the blatant Age Discrimination inherent in the competition, but even I could figure out the potential here...
By the way, how do the Young Scientists get away with such blatant anti ageist propaganda? Where are the Mid Life Scientists, the Aging Scientists, the Semi Retired But Still Do a Bit of Science In The Garage (Don't Tell The Wife) Scientists?
And why don't they win prizes and get to be on the front of the Irish Times with their braces etc?
Anyway, the story that fascinates me at the moment is the one of The Man Who Would not be Fired.
The Imaginary company I work for has many different locations, the Man (as he shall be known), runs a small and not very profitable branch, in fact, his branch is losing money hand over fist.
He, on the other hand, is a large and somewhat noisy individual.
I dread seeing his name in my Inbox, because inevitably, he will have written an epic email, full of posturing, demanding to know why everyone else has made a mess of something and deploring the fact that only he had the foresight, wisdom etc to notice this terrible error.
99.9% of the time, he is in the wrong, he has misunderstood the original instruction and quite probably, caused the problem in the first place.
It became a grim game in the Management Meetings, to watch this guy dice with death as he increasingly annoyed and frustrated the Chief Lieutenant.
Eventually, patience diminshed and the Axman was sent out to sort him out.
By which I mean, fire him.
Which he did, apparently. Well over a month ago.
However The Man, continues to work away. Only today I had four or five emails, which I was cc'ed on. In which, he deplored some error that everyone else was making, which was of course in fact his misunderstanding.
I asked around. Everyone thinks he was fired. In fact he has told staff in his branch, on a couple of occasions that today / tomorrow / last week was his last day.
In fact, we've even sent an interim Manager to the branch. And the next Management Meeting is on this Friday. But still I get mails, with discussion of future plans, laying out deals he wants to do for 2008 and agonising over how we are messing everything up and how he couldn't stand over it.
The urge to shout at the top of my voice "Fuck off, you were fired" is unbearable.
I am resisting only because my curiosity is getting the better of me.
How long can a man who was fired keep working for? It's like one of those Action Movies in which the villian keeps popping up from the bath, or climbing out of the meat grinder, or magically reappearing under the bed of the hero...
The Man Who Would not be Fired. He's an inspiration in some ways...
posted by Conformist No. 1 | 2:34 PM
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